In the Lenten season, it is easy to focus on external practices. Most especially, to let our Lenten devotion be predominated by the penances we choose. No chocolate. No TV. No meat. etc. Fasting and strengthening our self-discipline are extremely important things for us to cultivate, this is true. But it is so easy to stop here, at the more material penances, than to use the season of self-denial to really probe into further introspection.
Something God has brought to the forefront of my heart this Lent, is to look at the things inside my heart that hold me back from Him. Is it chocolate? Is it the radio? Is it meat? I can definitely over indulge in these things, and there is plenty of room in my life for more discipline. But there are far, far deeper things that are holding me back from truly allowing myself to feel the love of God.
lack of trust
not truly believing I am worthy of the love of God
not enough thirst for holiness
I think God is calling me to begin to let go of THESE things in my life.
How do you even begin to give up "lack of faith in God"? I'm just going to guess that this is not something that can be completely rooted out in 40 days. But, if I allow God to take a shovel to the soil of my heart, and begin to loosen the soil around these weaknesses...this is progress. After all, it's only by getting rid of these dark weeds that suffocate a chance for complete surrender to God, that there will be room for His love to truly take root and reside.