"To Isaiah, the voice said 'Go,' and for each of us there are many voices that say it, but the question is which one we will obey with our lives, which of the voices that call is to be the one we answer. No one can say, of course, except each for himself, but I believe that it is possible to say in general to all of us: we should go with our lives where we most need to go and where we are most needed.
Where we most need to go. Maybe that means that the voice we should listen to as we choose a vocation is the voice that we might think we should listen to least, and that is the voice of our own gladness. What can we do that makes us gladdest, what can we do that leaves us with the strongest sense of sailing true north and of peace, which is much of what gladness is?Is it making things with our hands out of wood or stone or paint on canvas? Or is it making something we hope like truth out of words? Or is it making people laugh in a way that cleanses their spirit? I believe that if it is a thing that makes us truly glad, then it is a good thing and it is our thing and it is the calling voice that we were made to answer with our lives."
~~ Frederick Buechner, "Secrets in the Dark: A Life in Sermons -- Chapter 6, The Calling of Voices"
Showing posts with label young adult life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label young adult life. Show all posts
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Musings
Sometimes I forget that part of the "style" of blogging is informal and unstructured, and so on days like today, where my focus is in several different directions, I can just list some reflections. These may or may not be related. Here goes:
1. This Sunday, the priest at Mass talked about the Ascension (we celebrated it here in Nashville on the Sunday, instead of Thursday), and focused on how before the Ascension, Christ instructs his disciples to "teach them to observe all that I have commanded you." The priest connected this with the importance for parents to provide good catechises to their children. He talked about how a parent asked a bishop (or priest, I can't remember the exact details), "When does the catechises of a child begin?" and the bishop responded, "12 years before the child is born." In his homily, the priest continued to talk about how the foundations of faith are laid long before the child is born; to the extent that the future parents form themselves spiritually and live a life of virtue 12 years leading up to the birth of their child, this is preparation of how they will catechise their child.
I thought this was a really fascinating reflection. Obviously, within the spiritual life, one must take into account the reality of continual conversion, and even if a parent has only just become serious about their faith in the past few years, they can still provide invaluable catechises for their children. But it really spoke to me as a reminder that the way I am living my life right now, is not just what I am doing for myself in this moment, but is forming me for what I will be called to give and teach in the future, in whatever capacity God sees fit. It was a really encouraging realization, that by cultivating the gifts and virtues and spiritual life to which God is calling me now, He is equipping me for something that I could be doing 12 years down the road for which this period of formation was integral.
2. Ok, that was longer than random thought, huh? On the note of singleness, in the past week I have learned that 3 of my good friends, with whom I had lost touch, are now in serious relationships. I am thrilled that they dating, and it does offer some hope - if they have found good matches after this (seemingly long) time, maybe there is hope for the rest of us. But there was also the reaction after hearing there updates, that this "us" of single people is a smaller and smaller group of friends, and there is always the fear that I will be one of the last ones to pair off. The smaller the singles fraction gets, the harder it is some days to be ok with this state of life. But I guess one must trust that with great crosses comes great grace.
3. And on the note of dating, a different friend, one who lives in Tennessee, met her boyfriend randomly at Krogers. They seem to be a very well-suited couple. My 9pm runs to Publix grocery store confirm this hypothesis to be true: meeting a cute, single guy at the grocery store later on a weeknight evening might just be the best place to meet a beau. ;-)
4. I had a really wonderful birthday, thanks to some wonderful friends and relatives who showered me with birthday greetings and made me feel very spoiled on my birthday. Although I was not as excited to turn 26 as I was to turn 25 (I really did think 25 was a cool age), I was not as traumatized to turn 26 as I was to turn 24. Go figure.
5. About a week before my birthday, I began getting more reflective and nostalgic about life. This song was on the radio, and it really moved me. I had heard it before, but in this moment I just felt like it was a word from the Father, telling me that this should be the "theme song" for me as I begin this next year of life. When I look at my life, I have so much to be grateful for. Although those who know me know that I can get sidetracked by discouragement and pessimism, I know deep down that I have been abundantly blessed, and I am beginning to believe more in the blessings of even the deepest mysteries and crosses in my life. This year has especially been evident of the glory God has manifested in my life in the way He has provided for me so evidently and so tenderly. When I heard this song, the line that struck me the most was "You ain't seen nothing yet / you ain't seen nothing yet / you aint seen nothing yet / open your eyes", and the way that God was calling me to believe that line with my whole being. We are called to recognize His manifestations of glory in our lives, but not to stop there. We must believe that His glory will continue to penetrate our lives in even deeper and more profound ways; this is the foundation on which hope lies, and in which our heart finds peace.
1. This Sunday, the priest at Mass talked about the Ascension (we celebrated it here in Nashville on the Sunday, instead of Thursday), and focused on how before the Ascension, Christ instructs his disciples to "teach them to observe all that I have commanded you." The priest connected this with the importance for parents to provide good catechises to their children. He talked about how a parent asked a bishop (or priest, I can't remember the exact details), "When does the catechises of a child begin?" and the bishop responded, "12 years before the child is born." In his homily, the priest continued to talk about how the foundations of faith are laid long before the child is born; to the extent that the future parents form themselves spiritually and live a life of virtue 12 years leading up to the birth of their child, this is preparation of how they will catechise their child.
I thought this was a really fascinating reflection. Obviously, within the spiritual life, one must take into account the reality of continual conversion, and even if a parent has only just become serious about their faith in the past few years, they can still provide invaluable catechises for their children. But it really spoke to me as a reminder that the way I am living my life right now, is not just what I am doing for myself in this moment, but is forming me for what I will be called to give and teach in the future, in whatever capacity God sees fit. It was a really encouraging realization, that by cultivating the gifts and virtues and spiritual life to which God is calling me now, He is equipping me for something that I could be doing 12 years down the road for which this period of formation was integral.
2. Ok, that was longer than random thought, huh? On the note of singleness, in the past week I have learned that 3 of my good friends, with whom I had lost touch, are now in serious relationships. I am thrilled that they dating, and it does offer some hope - if they have found good matches after this (seemingly long) time, maybe there is hope for the rest of us. But there was also the reaction after hearing there updates, that this "us" of single people is a smaller and smaller group of friends, and there is always the fear that I will be one of the last ones to pair off. The smaller the singles fraction gets, the harder it is some days to be ok with this state of life. But I guess one must trust that with great crosses comes great grace.
3. And on the note of dating, a different friend, one who lives in Tennessee, met her boyfriend randomly at Krogers. They seem to be a very well-suited couple. My 9pm runs to Publix grocery store confirm this hypothesis to be true: meeting a cute, single guy at the grocery store later on a weeknight evening might just be the best place to meet a beau. ;-)
4. I had a really wonderful birthday, thanks to some wonderful friends and relatives who showered me with birthday greetings and made me feel very spoiled on my birthday. Although I was not as excited to turn 26 as I was to turn 25 (I really did think 25 was a cool age), I was not as traumatized to turn 26 as I was to turn 24. Go figure.
5. About a week before my birthday, I began getting more reflective and nostalgic about life. This song was on the radio, and it really moved me. I had heard it before, but in this moment I just felt like it was a word from the Father, telling me that this should be the "theme song" for me as I begin this next year of life. When I look at my life, I have so much to be grateful for. Although those who know me know that I can get sidetracked by discouragement and pessimism, I know deep down that I have been abundantly blessed, and I am beginning to believe more in the blessings of even the deepest mysteries and crosses in my life. This year has especially been evident of the glory God has manifested in my life in the way He has provided for me so evidently and so tenderly. When I heard this song, the line that struck me the most was "You ain't seen nothing yet / you ain't seen nothing yet / you aint seen nothing yet / open your eyes", and the way that God was calling me to believe that line with my whole being. We are called to recognize His manifestations of glory in our lives, but not to stop there. We must believe that His glory will continue to penetrate our lives in even deeper and more profound ways; this is the foundation on which hope lies, and in which our heart finds peace.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Tax time
Few things in life make me crankier than the trial of tax time. For the last several years I have prepared my taxes primarily on my own, but thankfully have had my brother or dad around to at least look them over or help me translate complicated tax directions in person. I mean, is it just me, or does it seem like the tax directions are written in another language?? My brain hurts trying to figure out how they work.
This year I have to prepare my taxes on my own, and it's been a frustrating process, as usual. I am just not a numbers person, and rounding up all the necessary forms and figures is a challenge in itself. Thank goodness this year I discovered TurboTax and that has taken at least some stress out of the process.
Still, spending my free time crunching numbers and pouring over paperwork is not my idea of enjoyable. Especially since my taxes get extra complicated after living in two states, etc.
I am pretty sure that in purgatory we will have to crunch numbers and do paperwork like tax forms endlessly...certain sounds like suffering to me. On the other hand, if any of you dread this time of year as much as I do, I am pretty sure offering up our trials could get a lot of souls OUT of purgatory.
Tax time is just one more reason why I need to hurry up and find a husband. I will be happy to cook him dinner while he does my taxes. :-)
This year I have to prepare my taxes on my own, and it's been a frustrating process, as usual. I am just not a numbers person, and rounding up all the necessary forms and figures is a challenge in itself. Thank goodness this year I discovered TurboTax and that has taken at least some stress out of the process.
Still, spending my free time crunching numbers and pouring over paperwork is not my idea of enjoyable. Especially since my taxes get extra complicated after living in two states, etc.
I am pretty sure that in purgatory we will have to crunch numbers and do paperwork like tax forms endlessly...certain sounds like suffering to me. On the other hand, if any of you dread this time of year as much as I do, I am pretty sure offering up our trials could get a lot of souls OUT of purgatory.
Tax time is just one more reason why I need to hurry up and find a husband. I will be happy to cook him dinner while he does my taxes. :-)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Soups: A perfect winter meal for the single girl
Anyone else who is single knows how difficult and often unmotivating it can be to cook for yourself. I love cooking but it's hard to find recipes that feature a variety of ingredients that I won't get tired of before the dish goes bad. I discovered last winter how perfect soups are for the single person. First of all, you can find soup recipes for every taste -- vegetable-based, meat-based, poultry-based, with a Mexican flair, Indian flair, you name it! Recipes usually call for a variety of ingredients, but often inexpensive ingredients.
Plus, you get the whole warm, cozy experience of preparing the ingredients, melding them together in one pot, and smelling the spicy steam waft through your house for a good hour or more. Making soup is just a comforting experience that is bound to warm your home and your heart on a cold winter day.
The best part is that by making a big pot of soup, you have your lunches for the week! Make it once, and simply bring small containers to work each day to heat in the microwave and you are set! I really enjoy soup in the wintertime, so this is one meal that I don't seem to get tired of eating, especially if I rotate recipes.
Here is one of my all time favorite soup recipes. It's simple, very inexpensive, healthy and SO delicious: Persian Lentil Soup.
Bon Appetit!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The Loneliness of Sundays
Many of my single friends and I have talked about how difficult Sundays are for us, particularly since many of us are far from our families. This morning on my way to 8:30am Mass at the Nashville Cathedral, I was thinking about how much I dislike going to Mass alone. I have felt that way ever since college since I would sometimes end up at a Mass without my close friends and be sitting in the pews next to strangers.
The loneliness of Sundays is exacerbated by the fact that Sunday is a family day, and our families are far away; we don't have the opportunity to attend Mass with our families, participate in family brunch, or spend the day hiking or museum perusing with our siblings.
Naturally, this loneliness is felt even more acutely for someone like myself who has moved to a new city and hasn't yet found a parish "home" or set community of like minded people to share Mass and meals with.
I was thinking that maybe experiencing Sundays alone is just harder for me than other people, because of my introverted, melancholic nature. However, when searching for something completely different, I stumbled upon this article on Heather King's blog, Shirt of Flame. (As an aside, for more information on Heather King and an orthodox assessment of her book, check out Matthew Lickona's review.) King writes about what she calls "The existential loneliness of Sundays", and I found her perspective very gripping:
"I've never quite understood why, but of all the times of the week, Sunday
tends to be when I most keenly feel my existential loneliness. Maybe it's
because Sunday is the day traditionally spent with family and (by choice) I
am far from my family. Maybe it's because Sunday reminds me of the poverty
of sleeping alone. Sunday is when I see my death before me and simultaneously feel so sorrowful, and so over-awed and grateful that I ever got to live at all, that my entire being “becomes” the Lacrimosa from Mozart’s Requiem.
I used to think I felt sad because the weekend was coming to a close--not that the weekend had usually been all that stellar. But recently I’ve been thinking maybe it’s because Sunday is the day we're most likely to go to Mass, and then we all leave, and Christ is alone for the rest of the week. Maybe Christ, too, feels especially far from his family on Sunday. Maybe Sunday is the day that he, too, feels most keenly the poverty of sleeping alone. Maybe, if we
wonder whether God ever hears us, he wonders whether we ever hear him. "
Good food for thought on this Sunday afternoon.
The loneliness of Sundays is exacerbated by the fact that Sunday is a family day, and our families are far away; we don't have the opportunity to attend Mass with our families, participate in family brunch, or spend the day hiking or museum perusing with our siblings.
Naturally, this loneliness is felt even more acutely for someone like myself who has moved to a new city and hasn't yet found a parish "home" or set community of like minded people to share Mass and meals with.
I was thinking that maybe experiencing Sundays alone is just harder for me than other people, because of my introverted, melancholic nature. However, when searching for something completely different, I stumbled upon this article on Heather King's blog, Shirt of Flame. (As an aside, for more information on Heather King and an orthodox assessment of her book, check out Matthew Lickona's review.) King writes about what she calls "The existential loneliness of Sundays", and I found her perspective very gripping:
"I've never quite understood why, but of all the times of the week, Sunday
tends to be when I most keenly feel my existential loneliness. Maybe it's
because Sunday is the day traditionally spent with family and (by choice) I
am far from my family. Maybe it's because Sunday reminds me of the poverty
of sleeping alone. Sunday is when I see my death before me and simultaneously feel so sorrowful, and so over-awed and grateful that I ever got to live at all, that my entire being “becomes” the Lacrimosa from Mozart’s Requiem.
I used to think I felt sad because the weekend was coming to a close--not that the weekend had usually been all that stellar. But recently I’ve been thinking maybe it’s because Sunday is the day we're most likely to go to Mass, and then we all leave, and Christ is alone for the rest of the week. Maybe Christ, too, feels especially far from his family on Sunday. Maybe Sunday is the day that he, too, feels most keenly the poverty of sleeping alone. Maybe, if we
wonder whether God ever hears us, he wonders whether we ever hear him. "
Good food for thought on this Sunday afternoon.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Blogger without the internet
I am currently a blogger without a home interner connection. Is that an oxymoron?
I decided to hold off on getting internet connection, since when I inquired, Comcast estimated that the cheapest option for me would be $50/a month. With all of the other moving expenses (and now car expenses) that I have recently incurred, I decided that for the time being, it wouldn't be the most prudent idea for me to spend that on the internet.
Besides, that means that I would have to go to cafes, coffeeshops, or restaurants in order to use the internet for leisure. Granted, when you add up all of the drinks and snack items that I have (will) end up buying, it could get pretty pricey in itself, but it's a good way for me to get out of my house on the weeknights and weekends, potentially meet other coffeeshop junkies, and just be more social than just hole-ling away in my house on the internet.
I have to admit, at first I was a little bit skeptical about how this arrangement would work. After all, since I was 12 years old and my family first got the internet at our house, I always had the option to get online at the click of a mouse. (Although, during though first few years it was ridiculously slow, back in the days of "dial-up" connection!)
But although I do miss the convenience of having the internet available to me whenever I want to look something up, check the hours of a restaurant, or get in touch with someone, I actually have really, really enjoyed many aspects about being internetless.
Most of all, I have enjoyed being detached from the "noise" of the internet, which can (for someone undisciplined like myself) can be a constant distraction. I should mention too, that by opting out of the internet, I am also opting out of a cable package. I do get a handful of digital channels on my tv, but they really are not interesting enough to watch except for the weather channel here and there.
I have...
1) Gotten to bed earlier. Without e-mail to check or new websites to explore for "just a few minutes" which turns into hours...when it's bedtime, it's bedtime
2) Read real, tangible books more. I have already checked-out an array of some dozen books from the library where I work. When all is quiet in my apartment and I have some leisure time, I have been able to pick up any one of these books and get lost in the pages. I am particularly enjoying Flannery O'Connor's "Mystery and Manners" right now.
3) Prayed more. When there is no internet around to check, I am more likely to reach for my Magnificat or other spiritual reading, and to savor the quiet time in prayer.
4)Used my infrequent internet time wisely. When you are limited to internet time for an hour or two at a coffeeshop, you are more likely to just get done the things you need or want to get done, rather than dilly-dallying and putzing around.
5) Get excited about real mail. I have no e-mail or Facebook to check when I get home in the evenings, so opening my mailbox is more entertaining than it used to be. (Especially when I actually get letters!) I am sincerely hoping that I can translate my interest in writing letters into actually writing letters. I got a handful of Christmas cards mailed a few weeks ago. I guess that's a start.
6) Have more time to reach out to people in other ways, whether it is by phone or in person.
7) Have more time!
I don't know that I will stay internetless forever, but for now, I am recognizing and appreciating the benefits of living a lifestyle without home internet access. And realizing that having internet access at home isn't necessarily essential for me right now.
Granted, I should probably mention that not having internet access will probably have minor effects on my blog. Don't worry, I fully intend to keep my blog up and running, and hopefully continue to increase content and readership! However, it is likely that my posting during the week will be more sporadic than my posting on the weekends. But when I have more "coffeeshop" time, I will be writing away...perhaps featuring a few new additions per day.
Check back often!
I decided to hold off on getting internet connection, since when I inquired, Comcast estimated that the cheapest option for me would be $50/a month. With all of the other moving expenses (and now car expenses) that I have recently incurred, I decided that for the time being, it wouldn't be the most prudent idea for me to spend that on the internet.
Besides, that means that I would have to go to cafes, coffeeshops, or restaurants in order to use the internet for leisure. Granted, when you add up all of the drinks and snack items that I have (will) end up buying, it could get pretty pricey in itself, but it's a good way for me to get out of my house on the weeknights and weekends, potentially meet other coffeeshop junkies, and just be more social than just hole-ling away in my house on the internet.
I have to admit, at first I was a little bit skeptical about how this arrangement would work. After all, since I was 12 years old and my family first got the internet at our house, I always had the option to get online at the click of a mouse. (Although, during though first few years it was ridiculously slow, back in the days of "dial-up" connection!)
But although I do miss the convenience of having the internet available to me whenever I want to look something up, check the hours of a restaurant, or get in touch with someone, I actually have really, really enjoyed many aspects about being internetless.
Most of all, I have enjoyed being detached from the "noise" of the internet, which can (for someone undisciplined like myself) can be a constant distraction. I should mention too, that by opting out of the internet, I am also opting out of a cable package. I do get a handful of digital channels on my tv, but they really are not interesting enough to watch except for the weather channel here and there.
I have...
1) Gotten to bed earlier. Without e-mail to check or new websites to explore for "just a few minutes" which turns into hours...when it's bedtime, it's bedtime
2) Read real, tangible books more. I have already checked-out an array of some dozen books from the library where I work. When all is quiet in my apartment and I have some leisure time, I have been able to pick up any one of these books and get lost in the pages. I am particularly enjoying Flannery O'Connor's "Mystery and Manners" right now.
3) Prayed more. When there is no internet around to check, I am more likely to reach for my Magnificat or other spiritual reading, and to savor the quiet time in prayer.
4)Used my infrequent internet time wisely. When you are limited to internet time for an hour or two at a coffeeshop, you are more likely to just get done the things you need or want to get done, rather than dilly-dallying and putzing around.
5) Get excited about real mail. I have no e-mail or Facebook to check when I get home in the evenings, so opening my mailbox is more entertaining than it used to be. (Especially when I actually get letters!) I am sincerely hoping that I can translate my interest in writing letters into actually writing letters. I got a handful of Christmas cards mailed a few weeks ago. I guess that's a start.
6) Have more time to reach out to people in other ways, whether it is by phone or in person.
7) Have more time!
I don't know that I will stay internetless forever, but for now, I am recognizing and appreciating the benefits of living a lifestyle without home internet access. And realizing that having internet access at home isn't necessarily essential for me right now.
Granted, I should probably mention that not having internet access will probably have minor effects on my blog. Don't worry, I fully intend to keep my blog up and running, and hopefully continue to increase content and readership! However, it is likely that my posting during the week will be more sporadic than my posting on the weekends. But when I have more "coffeeshop" time, I will be writing away...perhaps featuring a few new additions per day.
Check back often!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Unsettled yet settled
Perhaps as can be expected, my comfort level living here in Nashville goes in waves. One day I feel happy to be here, more-and-more acclimated, and full of serenity about my new life here in Nashville. The next day (which happens to be today), I feel confused, unsettled, and out of place. I think that because I have moved so many times in the past 7 years, as much as I want to get "settled" and put down roots, I am scared to, because of the vulnerability it takes to go out of my comfort zone and meet new people. I know that I must take heart in the fact that God has led me here, though, and I will slowly get more "settled" here in good time. Unfortunately, living in a "instantaneous" world, it would be a lot more comfortable if this happened instantaneously. But for now I will try to savor the joys and grow from the challenges.
After all, being "unsettled", in a metaphysical sense, isn't so bad after all. For if we are "settled" in this world alone, we are unlikely to seek heaven as our true home. We need to use our "unsettledness" within the world in order to settle in the Lord, to nestle close to His heart.
As a (at least formerly) nomadic young adult, I have been trying to pray this prayer and rest in it's truth:
After all, being "unsettled", in a metaphysical sense, isn't so bad after all. For if we are "settled" in this world alone, we are unlikely to seek heaven as our true home. We need to use our "unsettledness" within the world in order to settle in the Lord, to nestle close to His heart.
As a (at least formerly) nomadic young adult, I have been trying to pray this prayer and rest in it's truth:
* ~ "My home is in His heart" ~ *
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