Blessed Bewilderment

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you are thrust into the unknown, uncertain where to turn, what to do next?

Where you are suddenly walking down a hallway, knocking on doors, seeing what opens…but the hallway is dark and you cannot even see in front of you. Do you go to the right, to the left, to a door creaking behind you, to one in front of you that swings open?

I am there today.

A young professional suddenly in the throes of the unknown again. With the unexpected layoffs at a job and community I have been at for 7 years. A city I have become familiar with, a community I hold dear.

What does my future hold? What sort of work am I supposed to pursue? What are my biggest priorities? Where is my life headed in the next year? Next ten years?

I have been thrust into a maelstrom of uncertainty. Those waves and that storm and that boat? I’m in that boat with Peter. The storm will threaten to overtake me, if I let it.

Where is this boat headed, and who can calm this stormy heart?

And I hear a Voice saying to me, “Don’t waste this”

Don’t waste this sacred time, this blessed bewilderment where the only certainty I have is that Divine arms are holding me.

Don’t waste this opportunity to watch the Lord walk on the waters and part the seas. Because this storm is a sacrament where the Savior is seen with piercing clarity.

Every storm in our life gives us the opportunity to see Him in an unrepeatable way. And crisis intensifies the storm. Every storm reminds us how desperately we are in need of a divine Rescuer.

Tell us where to go, Lord.

Soon enough the storm will settle. Our hearts will settle. I will settle. I will settle into a new life, new routine, new normal. Soon enough, I will be comfortable again.

But for now I am unsettled. I am bewildered, and I am blessed.