On the Feast of St. Raphael

Since today is the Feast Day of the Archangels, I found myself reflecting on the Archangel St. Raphael, and the fact that he is both the patron saint of relationships (specifically, matchmaking and marriages), and also a patron of healing. As I was reflecting on this at Mass today, I started thinking about the connection between those two things, and how they can be intertwined. Most especially, I think it is interesting to think about how it is often through relationships that we are brought healing. Relationships, the love and affection that we share with one another, are the most valuable things we have as human persons. As such, there is the capacity to experience great pain in broken relationship. In reflecting on the connection between healing and relationships, one most often thinks about the healing FROM a painful relationship; but what about the healing that is brought to us THROUGH a flourishing relationship? The truth is, I think one of the great gifts of healthy relationships, even those that are just temporary (such as some dating relationships), have the opportunity to bring not only joy and love into our lives, but profound healing as well.

When we are in a relationship, whether its a friendship, a dating relationship, relationship with a sibling, relationship with a spouse, we have the opportunity to speak healing into another's life. I do not mean this in a clinical sort of way, but through the transformative power of interpersonal connection. By the way we love the other; by the way we affirm the dignity of the other; by the way we challenge the other to use their gifts; by the way we speak hope where there was darkness - healing enters in. I think this is such a beautiful, but perhaps under recognized, dynamic within relationships. The fact that we have the ability to minister to others we are in relationship with, and bring healing to the wounds of one another -simply through our presence and our love - is a very powerful thing.

To be perfectly honest, I think even within the context of dating relationships that eventually fizzle, we can encounter the healing effect of the other. Just as within a positive dating/courtship relationship have have the ability to bring the other person joy, affection, and love, I think that we can also be used by God as an instrument of healing to one another. Somehow, in a mysterious way, we can achieve a greater wholeness, through our dating encounters and friendships and experiences along the journey. Certainly, pain and heartbreak can also be threaded in relationship loss. But I think if we look closely enough, we can also see how healing and growth was a part of the best relationships too - and recognize those parts of relationships that were in fact, redeeming and restorative to our soul. Ultimately, these experiences bind us up into the person we are meant to become.

And so on this Feast Day, through the intercession of St. Raphael, may we thank the Lord for all the ways He has brought us healing through our friends and family and relationships. May we be made whole and help others on their path to wholeness. May we be instruments of the Divine Healer to all He puts in our path.

To walk on earth

Photo Credit

 A beautiful reflection from St. Teresa Benedicta (Edith Stein), that I think is very fitting for Lent.. .

"Only those who are saved, only children of grace can in fact be bearer's of Christ's cross. Only in union with the divine Head does suffering take on expiatory power. To suffer and to be happy although suffering, to have one's feet on the earth, to walk along the dirty and rough paths of this earth and yet be enthroned with Christ at the Father's right hand, to laugh and cry with the children of this world and ceaselessly to sing the praises of God with the choirs of angels, this is the life of the Christian until the morning of eternity breaks forth."  ~ Edith Stein, HL 91-93

What holds you back?

In the Lenten season, it is easy to focus on external practices. Most especially, to let our Lenten devotion be predominated by the penances we choose. No chocolate. No TV. No meat. etc. Fasting and strengthening our self-discipline are extremely important things for us to cultivate, this is true. But it is so easy to stop here, at the more material penances, than to use the season of self-denial to really probe into further introspection.

Something God has brought to the forefront of my heart this Lent, is to look at the things inside my heart that hold me back from Him. Is it chocolate? Is it the radio? Is it meat? I can definitely over indulge in these things, and there is plenty of room in my life for more discipline. But there are far, far deeper things that are holding me back from truly allowing myself to feel the love of God.

For starters...

discouragement
lack of trust
not truly believing I am worthy of the love of God
not enough thirst for holiness
self-centeredness

I think God is calling me to begin to let go of THESE things in my life.

How do you even begin to give up "lack of faith in God"? I'm just going to guess that this is not something that can be completely rooted out in 40 days. But, if I allow God to take a shovel to the soil of my heart, and begin to loosen the soil around these weaknesses...this is progress. After all, it's only by getting rid of these dark weeds that suffocate a chance for complete surrender to God, that there will be room for His love to truly take root and reside.

Time to write again

Any artist or creative person knows that art output can be seasonal. We have seasons of prolific production; more often we have seasons of stark dryness, amidst our best intentions. Sometimes we should push ourselves to write, create, and produce through the dryness. Other times, there is an inner voice that tells us to "be still." Likewise, sometimes there are so many intense, confusing, and energy-consuming events going on in our lives, that we desire to ponder, sift, and sort it all out internally. That's ok. When the springtime of creativity comes upon us again, we will know it, and we will have a new found desire to write, to paint, to sculpt, to sing - to sing our songs aloud again - the tunes and stories being all the richer after a deep season of creative winter.

All this to say, I think it's spring again for me. Something inside me is moving me to write again. I can't promise perpetual profundity, but at least I'll be writing. Thanks for coming along for the journey - hopefully I can devote at least a little time each week to writing here!

Words for today

"To Isaiah, the voice said 'Go,' and for each of us there are many voices that say it, but the question is which one we will obey with our lives, which of the voices that call is to be the one we answer. No one can say, of course, except each for himself, but I believe that it is possible to say in general to all of us: we should go with our lives where we most need to go and where we are most needed.

Where we most need to go. Maybe that means that the voice we should listen to as we choose a vocation is the voice that we might think we should listen to least, and that is the voice of our own gladness. What can we do that makes us gladdest, what can we do that leaves us with the strongest sense of sailing true north and of peace, which is much of what gladness is?Is it making things with our hands out of wood or stone or paint on canvas? Or is it making something we hope like truth out of words? Or is it making people laugh in a way that cleanses their spirit? I believe that if it is a thing that makes us truly glad, then it is a good thing and it is our thing and it is the calling voice that we were made to answer with our lives."

~~ Frederick Buechner, "Secrets in the Dark: A Life in Sermons -- Chapter 6, The Calling of Voices"

Be still

"Be still and know I am God" ~ Psalm 46:10

There is something about Advent, particularly this year, that makes me think of the beauty and value of stillness. Perhaps it is the image of that still night in Bethlehem, amidst the starry sky, that the Savior was born. Perhaps it is the stillness of Mary's heart that especially comes to mind - her courageous "Fiat" to bear the Son of God and her singleheartedness to be obedient to God's plan; perhaps it is the beautiful description of how when Christ was born she "pondered all of these things in her heart" (Luke 2:19). Clearly, Our Lady was able to embrace the grace of living in the moment, contemplating the glory of the Lord in her heart and not letting the distractions of the world distract her gaze on the things of the Lord.

It reminds me again how I need stillness in my life. Or, more specifically, stillness in my heart. I am pretty good at "sitting still" and do try to not overload my schedule so much that I don't have at least some time for prayer, reflection, and contemplation. But the time I carve out for these things isn't always a number one priority for me as it should be. Even more so, I see the need in my life for stillness of heart. For having the grace to be still in the Lord -- to know that He is God. Such a simple statement, but what a profound impact it would have on a life that it truly penetrated.

There have been a lot of distractions in my life lately. Mostly good things -- new activities, new opportunities, new people and friendships. But in navigating new territories, my heart has definitely become prone to distraction. Wondering how things will work out. Wondering how all the pieces fit together. Wondering what I should say. Wondering what God thinks. Wondering what's next. A thousand thoughts clamor for my attention, and at the end of the day I find myself exhausted.

"Be still, and know that I am God."

If I could let this stillness seep in, peace would pervade, and those thousand thoughts will be quieted by the knowledge that there is just One that I need.

And in contemplating the One, in basking in this stillness I can wait with a steadfast heart for the coming of my Redeemer.

Not mine to hold

In my women's bible study, we recently talked at length about Hannah and her incredible faith. We marveled not only at the faith and perseverance of Hannah in her steadfast prayer to God to grant her a son, but in her complete surrender of offering her son back to God after He had granted her petition. That a woman could give back to God the very gift that she had been praying for, for so very long, is just mind-boggling. Somehow, in her intense faith, she saw that the greater gift was not just that God granted her a son, but that she could then in turn give her son back to God.

When God grants us a prayer, gives us that gift for which we have been so long begging Him -- isn't it within our nature to hold that gift as tightly as possible? To cherish it closely, never let it out of our sight, and, even though subtly, hold our arms around it protectively, so that it cannot be taken away from us?

Even if it's a little thing, just the hint of the possibility of a desire fulfilled; do we snatch it up and build walls around ourselves? Say to ourselves with satisfaction, "It's about time!" Or, on the other hand, do we hover around this gift, tip-toeing softly, making sure we do not mess it up, or do anything that might destroy the pearl of happiness that stands so precariously in our midst?

It could be a new job, a longed for adventure, the hope of conceiving a child, the blossoming of a new relationship, a new found consolation in the Lord, a refreshing peace of soul. Whatever it is, it is that Evasive Thing; the missing piece to our happiness that we have pleaded for, and pleaded for, and pleaded for. And for all we know, once we get a whiff of it, we better dare not let it out of our sight, lest we never encounter the opportunity once more.

It's funny, the lengths the heart goes to define, and mold, and protect its happiness. As if these things were really ours to hold. When in reality, "every good and perfect gift is from above" (James 1:17) and it is offered to us in His perfect timing, for the glory of His name. I'm pretty sure that the sooner I realize this, and the sooner I acknowledge that everything is His, the sooner peace will prevail in my heart. As I was thinking about all of this and the little ways it is playing out in my life right now, I heard this song by Audrey Assad, "Everything is Yours." It was such a comfort and inspiration to me. A reminder to let go; to give everything back to God. The only thing that I am called to hold onto is the Love which holds me.